I think that I have gotten more selfish over the years. I mean, I really am seriously beginning to think that I have, in my older age, begun to simmer a little -- maybe now a slow-simmer, kinda -- and embraced the idea of not having the overimpulsive need to "save the world!"
I know what one might think of such a declaration: Philanthropically-speaking, for someone that prides his or her self in being recognized as a socially-conscious and caring person, one should never speak of "simmering down" because that usually means they allow the subscriptions to Green Peace and The Sierra Club lapse. It means the membership fees -- and the monthly/bi-monthly meetings -- for the local civic organizations we belong to, The Scouts (take your pick: Boys' or Girls'), or the volunteering we ritualistically do at the public library, take a backburner to "lesser" things: Like a quiet evening at home curled up with a good book. Or a day of doing nothing but watching back-to-back movie rentals with really good friends (not the "acquaintences") and laughing one's head off.
So I ask: Is that really so bad?
I used to believe that the ultimate evolution of a person necessarily involved an embracing of a sense of responsibility that extended to every man, every woman that he or she may come in contact with. If one possessed knowledge, or what he or she deemed to be knowledge, he or she was morally obligated to share this information with those perceived to be without knowledge. This is how we "shared" and distributed the "wealth" of information in an equitable, even compassionate manner, at the same time taking the young chicks under the safety of our protective wings for their own well-being. And I could go on, but I won't.
What I have come to resolve about this is that the more I claim to know, the less they tend to believe me because, as far as they are concerned, my experience is not theirs. I could be 100% correct in the advice offered to he or she whom I am advising at any given time, under any variety of circumstances, but unless the individual expresses a reciprocating sort of interest in what is being shared, my words tend to simply fall on deaf ears. It makes me not be inclined to "share" with him or her.
And, on the face of this, you might think I am speaking against mentoring others, or sharing, in general. But I think that as time has passed, I have realized that those who seek knowledge, instinctively draw to those they seek to mentor them. So why try to push yourself on others, as though everyone needs you, or needs to hear what you have to say?
And now to the point of this entry. It marks the official end to my blogging days -- at least for now, and in tandem with where I am at this point in my life. To those of you who have followed along, reading -- perhaps with some amusement, perhaps with wonderment about what it was I had originally set out to accomplish with this blog -- thank you for listening to my thoughts. I hope that something I have said has made some sense, perhaps enlightened you, provided a different or "fresh" perspective on an issue. But at this point I don't have anything else conversation-wise to discuss in terms of "commercial" talk. I only have my art. And to me, for me, this is the best that I have to offer in terms of advice on how to live, and how to love, and how to get by from one day to the next.
Feel free to visit my webpage at any time, https://sites.google.com/site/artbyvanessasite/. I also invite you to pick up copies of my books of poetry, Fairy Tales and Stranger Love, and Rivers Running in Desert Places (PublishAmerica, LLLP).
One last piece of unsolicited advice: When you feel like just digressing from the madness your world might encompass and seek the sane, the quirky (even), the slightly off-beat, but definitely, "the REAL," read good poetry. Poets are journalists who hate writing in a set, predictable format - simply because not all poems want the same format. We write about life in bite-sized morsels. Sometimes it makes "the real thing" that much more palatable to take...
Live well, live full, love life, love God -- not necessarily in that order.
And may you have a good life.
Signing off (for now),
Vanessa
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