I grew up in a family that was living from day to day off of an income level that would have been considered just above "poverty." But that did not stop my parents from holding my siblings and I accountable to make something of ourselves. This included knowing God (dealing with my spirit first), being clean and having manners (i.e., knowing how to show respect for myself and for others), learning to get along with my family members (i.e., treating each other well and showing love for one another), and getting an education -- almost exactly in that order.
Fast forward years later, as I interact with a diverse group of co-workers and hear their tales of growing up and the richness of the experiences some of them have had, from time-to-time the temptation is too great for me to NOT pull out my invisible checklist card and compare my childhood with theirs. I didn't learn how to swim when I was young. I didn't participate in the Girls' Scouts, etc. And the list could go on.
The one good thing about being honest with yourself and not putting on airs about who you are (your past) is that it makes it easier for you to shake off that awful self-pitying feeling when it does happen to arise. You've arrived at the place at which you currently are through a very specific series of life events. And, though you may have had little to do with choosing most of them, they chose you -- and you survived. You have to believe that you survived your life up until this point FOR A REASON. Once you find that reason, however difficult that task may have been, then the real work begins!
Take for example the process of buying a new house -- rather a pre-existing house that is "new" to you and perhaps your family. If you think things are going to be neat when you're looking to make renovations or upgrades to your house, you haven't been paying attention to the not-so-subtle messages that life has been trying to send you about how change happens. Making improvements - be it personal or physical or professional or anything else - is like painting your rooms in your house, while still staying in it. Everything gets turned upside down, gets rearranged in a messy sort of cluttered way. Not at all how we want things to look but you keep telling yourself that the house is going to look great once they all -- yes, all -- get done.
Similarly, you have to accept that no matter how you wish to, you will never get back the years that you've already spent and which are in the past. You can't make up for lost time by learning everything that you think you could've know had you been a child prodigy. There was a time for that, perhaps, and it turned out that you were not a child prodigy. It's okay. Forgive yourself for not being something that you were not in the first place.
What does all of this have to do with the notion of professional growth and becoming a successful individual in the marketplace? There is a lesson in all this. And it simply is this: Acceptance of your limitations is essential to your growth. On a really practical note, once you know what you know, you'll have a clear starting point from which to climb upwards. Learn at your pace. Then when something comes along requiring skills beyond what you have, you can more quickly recognize those situations and readjust and summon individuals or external sources of knowledge that can help you address that particular issue. The point is to lose the "chip on your shoulder." Life can disappoint you (as it does for most of us), but you don't need to let that disappointment create an emotional handicap that makes you paranoid and self-doubting of your abilities now, at this time in your life. You can learn what you need to; and what you don't need to or don't have the time to learn, well, that's where networking and learning to work with your colleagues and teammates come in at.
Foster your ability to stop apologizing for circumstances beyond your control and grow at your own pace. You'll be surprised where your path may lead you.
